love enough to marry?

Joshua and I were talking last night. He’d just come from the wedding of one of his good friends. We’ve been to a lot of weddings together, which always makes for interesting conversations after. He said a few things that challenged me, that provoked me, and that make me appreciate him all the more.

He said, seeing Matt and Shannon commit the vows they had written to one another made him realize how finitely he loves me. That’s a terribly painful thing to hear out of your lover’s mouth, that he’s realized how inadequately he loves you? But it was beautiful. He said that their love challenged him, and made him realize how far he has to go, how far we have to go until we could marry.

He said, I love you as I can, you in Alabama and I in Texas, but it is not enough. I want to love you more, and I could never marry you until I could lay my life down for you, to love you as Jesus loves his bride. He said, I couldn’t marry you until I could lead you wisely and humbly.

We are not there yet, our love is young and foolish still. But it is growing. And to hear his heart, to hear him declare how he desires to love me, how he desires to grow. Ah, heart be still! For you are wild with anticipation.

It’s easy for me to get caught up in the romanticism of us. To want to jump forward and just be together. But it is so true, we have so much to learn of ourselves, so much to grow in love for one another. To marry will be a very difficult thing, a thing that makes you holy and humble.